


Doug and Carol

by jturner36



Series: Doug & Carol - by Jordan Turner [48]
Category: E.R.
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 06:45:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14491134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jturner36/pseuds/jturner36
Summary: This is the end of the series that I wrote about 18 years ago. Much of it was in response to the fandom's distress at George Clooney's Doug leaving Julianna Margulies' Carol alone in Chicago. I was also distressed, with little faith, but who could have imagined that the producers, actors, and writers would give us such a satisfying reunion. (Unlike Shonda Rhimes - never again!)Anyway, these stories were long gone, or so I thought, until I was able to find them tucked away in the land of cyberspace. So much has changed in my life and our lives since these were written. I'm posting them here and hope you enjoy them.





	Doug and Carol

**Author's Note:**

> The show ER, and all characters and situations borrowed from it, are property of Constant-C, NBC, Warner Brothers, etc. This fanfiction is for entertainment only, and no money is made from it. The story contains graphic scenes and words which may offend some readers, and as such, it is not appropriate for children under 18. This story is not to be archived or distributed without the permission of the author.
> 
> Stories in the series:  
> A Clean Break; Stages of Ending; Retribution; Covenant; Tap-dance; Free Falling; Blink of an Eye; Vivisection; Keepsakes; In the Steam; Through the Night; Cornerstone; Domesticity; Caretaker; To CH; The Empty Space; Tenderhearted; Intoxicated; The Present; Summit; The Harbor, Part I; The Harbor, Part II; Transition Game; Expectations; Joint Venture; Kiss of Life; Residuum; Aftermath; Letters Never Sent; Wonderful Things; The Mere Fragrance; Walking the Tightrope; Vernal Equinox; Bits of Broken Glass; What it's Not; Ayant Seulement L'Imagination; Culmination; Tidings of Comfort; Parallel Hearts; Visitation Rites; Wee Small Hours; Barometric Pressure; The Emerald City; A Peaceable Start; Mother's Day; Spilling Forth; Significant Other; Doug and Carol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
There's no more waiting  
Holding out for love  
You are my Godsend  
That I have been forever dreaming of  
My angel from above  
Heaven knows  
I'm head over heels and it shows  
I've played every field I suppose  
But there's something about you  
When you're around  
Baby I have found  
I get lost in you  
What is this feeling  
I've never known before  
That I should dare to  
Swear to surrender ever more  
That's what I came here for  
\- Chris Gaines  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

There was something magical about the nursery in the early morning light. Something sweet smelling and innocent, a perfume borne of baby girls brought forth by love and passion and happiness.

He'd visit when it was still dark, in the predawn hour. Awakened by the El, unable to sleep, and unwilling to rouse Carol, he'd walk in just to gaze at them. His Tess, head covered in damp brown ringlets, her hands dimpled and relaxed, looked angelic with her curled lashes...which reminded him of Carol...and her full, soft lips. She was, at six months, thoughtful and wary and wise, and her gentle manner could cut to his heart as fast as anyone, woman or child, ever had. She would size him up anew when he returned from a trip before offering her shy smile complete with a coy, teasing expression. Yet her hand would always reach for him and when she was sleepy, or cuddly, her body would relax deliciously into his, enchanting him. It frightened Doug, almost, to think of this baby becoming a child and in turn, the child becoming a woman. She would grow only more beautiful and captivate many men, he knew. If he allowed himself to think that far ahead, he would worry about his ability to protect her heart.

Kate, his wild-child, was just as lovely, yet in such a different way. She slept defensively, hands clenched, body curled around itself for protection. Her hair was thick and wavy, her features were finer, more chiseled than her sister's, perhaps, and her eyes were piercing and alert under long, straight lashes, immediately upon waking. Kate missed nothing, deferred to no one. She was as petulant and driven and bold as any baby he'd seen, and she charged through her day with a determination bordering on recklessness. Her spirit would lead her, he knew, and so her zest for life would need tempering lest it spiral out of control. He delighted in her as well, seeing himself in his younger daughter, knowing that at her most uncontrollable, she would be the one desperately needing the most guidance. If he allowed himself to imagine the womanly Kate, he'd briefly envision Linda Farrell, which frightened and dismayed him as much as it fascinated him. How would he help her harness that energy so she wouldn't get hurt in the process of learning and growing?

But, during his last few mornings in Chicago he'd push back all his fatherly fear and worry and protectiveness, lay a hand on top of each head and be thankful that his babies were babies, six months old, and that he had what he hoped was a lifetime of childhood before his girls were women.

*****

Carol, Doug, Tess and Kate had returned to Chicago only a few days previously, and already Carol had cleaned, organized, and prepared for the movers who were due to come pack up their belongings for the move west. Helen came over three afternoons in a row to help watch the babies, and Carol was grateful for her assistance. Doug split his time between his work duties, where his energy was focused on preparing proposals and mulling over budgets for the Atlanta hospital he would visit next, and helping Carol get ready. They both oversaw the removal and replacement of the stained glass window, and once that was accomplished, they realized they were already looking toward their future, to their new life together.

By late Thursday afternoon, they had completed the bulk of the work and were amazed at how much they'd accomplished. Once Helen had gone home and the girls were nursed, changed, and tucked into their cribs, Doug and Carol sat together on the porch watching the last of the day's light turn from golden to orange to a cooler hue of purplish-blue.

"Think we're ready?" Doug asked as he sipped a cold Coca-Cola, leaning against the large, round post.

"No," Carol laughed, "but ready or not, they're coming to pack us up and take us away."

"How would you feel about me flying to Atlanta on Monday?"

"Well, I'd miss you," she purred, rubbing the back of his neck.

He smiled. "Me, too, but I can't keep ducking these guys. I'm two weeks late, and they want this up and running before the med students report."

"It's really okay," she answered.

"Good. Then by the time I come back, we'll have the weekend to get last minute stuff done, and we'll move the next week."

Carol thought about it, and looked over at him, her brow knit.

"Whatsa matter?" he asked, confused by her attitude change.

"What about our wedding?"

He rubbed his chin and responded, "Oh...you know, I know we talked about getting married, but I don't know if we can do it so soon."

"I want to get married before we move. So everyone can be with us."

"Yeah, yeah...I didn't realize how tight the time was. Listen, you wanna...I mean, I don't know how we'd do a church wedding, if that's what you want. I don't think we have time."

"Doug, it doesn't matter to me. I mean, a justice of the peace, anyone. I just want to get married."

He reached for her hand, needing to touch her, wanting to gauge her feelings. "You wouldn't mind not having a...a church wedding, a formal reception, that kind of thing?"

She shook her head. "No. I don't care about all that."

"Well...what are you thinking of, what do you want? Do you want to do it here, have the ceremony inside, or in the backyard, and have some food catered?" His thumb traced a slow circle around her knuckles.

Carol leaned back and exhaled loudly. She didn't answer him right away, but he could see she was formulating a plan. Finally, she spoke. "You know what I want to do? I want to invite some friends, and our families. I want everyone to drive to Michigan and for us to get married on the beach, and after the ceremony, we'll just grill hamburgers and hotdogs and chicken. We could have a couple of kegs of beer, some wine. Maybe we'll rent a tent, some tables, and just hang out with our friends to celebrate. That's what I want to do." When she turned to him, he kissed her and grinned.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm positive. What do you think?"

"Sounds just like something we'd do," he said resolutely. "Where in Michigan? You want to rent a house, or go to some resort?"

"That house that we went to in Benton Harbor...the house is small, but the yard and the beachfront are big enough. I don't know if it's even owned by the same woman. Her name was Eloise...Eloise something.... Lewis. Eloise Lewis. I can call information, see if she's listed, and see if I can get in touch with her. If not, maybe we can go to another place -- a place I went to last summer, called 'Muriel's.'"

"When do you want to do this?"

"Next weekend?" she suggested.

He whistled, looking skeptical. "You think we can get everything done that soon?"

"I don't know," she admitted, "but it's worth a shot."

"Okay. I have to call my mom; you have to call your sisters. It's kinda short notice."

"Yeah, it is. We can try."

"We need witnesses."

Carol contemplated that for a moment. "Are you...who do you want to ask? Mark?"

Doug didn't answer at first, and then stated, "If you'd have asked me that question two years ago, I'd have said yes. But now...."

"What?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. "He...Mark's a great guy, but over the last year and a half, he...he wasn't very...oh, I don't know. Things change."

"He wasn't very supportive of you?" she asked, looking for clarification.

"Yeah, I guess that's it. I guess I lost faith in him, or he lost faith in me, but things aren't the same."

She understood, but emphasized, "And at the same time, he was so helpful to me."

"Then you ask him," Doug suggested.

"What?"

"He was a great friend to you, ask him to be your witness."

Carol immediately balked. "I'd feel funny, though. I mean -- he's your friend."

"He's your friend, too," Doug reasoned.

"Yeah, but if I ask him, who will you ask?"

"We only need one witness," Doug answered, unconcerned.

"No. No, it's not...it wouldn't be right," Carol insisted. Her mind began to race and the answer became crystal clear. "What about Beth?" She was almost as surprised as Doug that she'd even suggested it.

He turned to her, astonished. "Beth?"

"Yes," she asserted, "yes, Beth. She's a good friend, she was helpful to you, she'd love it."

Doug frowned. "I don't...I dunno, I don't know if she could take the time off. She's just getting back from her honeymoon."

"Listen, here's what we'll do. I'll call tomorrow, see if we can use that house, and call my mom and my sisters to see if they can all come. You call your mom and Howard, call Beth and Alan, and see if they can come, too. Then, I'll go down to the hospital and invite Mark and some of my...our friends, and voila! We have our wedding." She spread her arms out for emphasis, looking very pleased.

Doug chuckled, touched by her excitement and impressed by her efficiency. "Voila, huh?"

"It's that easy," she insisted.

"If you say so," he said, shaking his head.

"Hang on," she said as she stood up and went inside. She returned with a pad and a pencil. "Who do you want to invite from the hospital?"

"Well, you decide. They're your coworkers."

"Okay. Mark and Elizabeth, of course. Haleh...Conni...Lydia, Lily, Chuny," she continued, writing carefully. "Yosh."

"Malik?" he offered.

"Yes, absolutely, Malik," she agreed, adding his name to the list. "Um...Benton?" She peered at him, through narrowed lashes.

Doug made a face. "Eh."

"Okay...no Benton, which means no Cleo."

"Who's Cleo?"

"Pediatric resident."

"Oh, really?" he asked, interested.

"Nothing special. Uh...who am I forgetting? Jing-Mei Chen...."

"Who?" he asked, looking at her sideways.

"Oh, Deb Chen. She goes by her birth name now."

He grinned. "Deb's back? I thought she quit like...years ago."

"Yeah, she did, but she's back, a resident again. I'm not all that close with her, though," Carol acknowledged.

"Okay, no Deb."

"Aw!" Carol breathed sadly. "Carter...."

"Oh, yeah," said Doug, echoing her disappointment. "He's...off in rehab, right?"

"Yeah."

He grimaced. "I woulda liked seein' him again."

"It won't seem right without him," she added. "And...uh...." Carol wavered.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's...." She waved away the idea.

"What?"

"It's a stupid idea. Just...Kerry Weaver."

Doug raised his eyebrows. "Huh. It's your call, Carol."

Carol looked almost glum as she spoke. "It's kinda hard to decide, you know? I mean, I know how you left things with her...."

"Your call," he repeated.

"Kerry...I...she was so helpful, too this year," she continued to explain, "but I...it's no big deal."

Doug nodded and thought for a moment. "What about your friend, Luka?" he asked, carefully concealing his emotions.

Carol looked up, wary. "Well, Luka...I don't even think he'd want to come. I think it would be...too...I dunno, awkward. Let's just leave it at this: Mark, Elizabeth, Chuny, Haleh, Conni, Lily, Lydia, Yosh, and Malik."

Doug took a last sip of his Coke and said, "Add Beth, Alan, my mom and Howard, your mom, your sisters Rachel and Margaret, and their families. Too many, not enough?"

"Just right," she said, smiling. "Oh, and of course, Tess and Kate. Now, I have to see if we have a place to hold this and *if* we can find someone to perform the ceremony."

"Well, you've taken care of just about everything, right?" he asked, his voice rich with approval.

"Rings! We have no rings."

Doug looked away. "We do."

"What do you mean, we do?"

He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "I bought rings, years ago. That night I wanted to elope? I bought rings and I...I never brought them back. I mean, they were sized and everything and I couldn't...I mean, you know, I didn't want to take them back to the jewelers."

Carol blinked back unexpected tears. "Where are they?"

"In Seattle. In my dresser."

"But...how can you get them?"

"Beth still has a key. If she can come, she'll bring them. Otherwise, she can send them Fed Ex or something." He paused a moment, thinking of something. "If you don't like it, you can always go get something else later on."

Putting her pencil and paper down, she threw herself on top of him, tackling him onto the porch floor. "I'm sure I'll love it." Her tears were replaced by a huge smile, and she began assaulting him with kisses and hugs until he begged for mercy, laughing along with her.

*****

The following morning, Carol was as driven and focused as Doug had ever seen her. He sat at the kitchen table making calls on his cell phone and arranging his travel to Atlanta while she got busy making plans for the wedding with Tess sitting happily at her feet. Her first phone call was to information.

"Yes, in Benton Harbor?" he heard her say. "Do you have a listing for an Eloise Lewis?" Carol waited, then shot a grin toward him as she scribbled down a number. She hung up and said, "There's a number, let's see if she's still at it."

"Why do you say that?" he asked.

"Because she was getting ready to sell it when I visited there. Her husband had just died." Carol dialed the number and waited. "I don't know what the chances are that she still owns the house, and that she'd even be there...."

"Hello?" a man answered.

"Hi, my name is Carol Hathaway, calling for Eloise Lewis?"

"One minute. El? Phone!" he called out.

Carol heard some rustling in the background, then, "Hello?"

"Hi. I don't know if you'll remember me. My name is Carol Hathaway. I was in Michigan last year and stopped by to visit you. I was pregnant with twins and we had dinner."

"Oh, yes. I do remember," Eloise said. "How are you?"

"Great, I'm fine. I had two girls, they're six months old now."

"Wonderful news! What can I do for you?"

"I have a favor -- I know it's really last minute, but I'm trying to make plans to get married and since I loved your house so much, I wanted to see if it was available to rent next weekend. We were thinking of getting married there." It all tumbled out so fast that Carol stopped to catch her breath.

"Well, I don't see why not!" Eloise exclaimed. "But you won't need to rent it, my dear. You can come and stay and it'll be my present to you."

"No," Carol replied, "No, I couldn't ask that of you. We want to pay, just the fact that we can use it is wonderful." Carol laughed joyously.

"But I don't want your money," Eloise insisted. "I'll tell you why: Last year, after my husband Ernie died, I was so sad and alone. I really didn't think I could go on without him. I wanted to sell this place and go someplace where I could forget him. But that night you were here, you talked about this house being a gift. And then you said something I'll never forget, about being willing to take broken pieces and recreate them. Well, Carol, I gave that a great deal of thought, and just as I was getting ready to sell, a dear, old friend, Bill, came into my life again. Oh, I knew him from years ago -- we worked on church projects together, and we'd always kept in touch with Christmas cards, that kind of thing. Well, Bill was widowed five years ago, and he came to visit me in August. We decided, after many visits and much conversation, to get married in January. So, I'm a newlywed now, I'm not selling this house, and I'm happy and looking forward to many years with Bill. That, my dear, is why you are not paying one cent for this house next weekend!"

"Oh, Eloise! I'm so happy for you."

"And this man you're marrying -- he must be a good man, hmm?"

"He is," Carol said, looking over at Doug who was bending down to pick up a crawling Kate. "He's the man I've always been in love with," she whispered, "the father of my children."

"Well, see there? We each had a bad summer last year, but it turned out okay, didn't it?"

"It did."

"You let me know when you're coming, and we'll have the house spic and span and ready for you."

"Will you stay? Come to the wedding?"

"Sure we will. You just let us know."

Carol said her goodbyes, hung up, and turned to Doug's expectant face. "See how easy that was?"

"You're amazing," he admitted. "See, Katie-girl," he said softly into his daughter's ear, "don't ever underestimate your mother. It's one triumph after another with her."

"I haven't called my mother yet, Doug," she warned him. "You know that expression about counting your chickens before they've hatched...."

But, as Doug predicted, Carol met with success time after time. Helen, who was not terribly surprised at Carol's news or timetable, immediately volunteered to help. Rachel and Margaret were thrilled at Carol's news. Once Carol got off the phone, Doug made a call to Colorado with Kate on his lap.

"Hey, mom, how are you?"

"Well, hi. You're certainly hard to get a hold of. How are Carol and the girls? Who's that I hear with you?"

"It's Kate. Great, they're great. Listen, you busy next weekend?" And in his own nonchalant way, Doug invited his mother and Howard to his wedding, and grinned when she cried, and chuckled when she laughed at herself crying. He hung up after a bit, and looked up at Carol. "Another satisfied customer," he quipped.

"You're not done. You need to call Beth."

Doug hesitated. "You sure about this?"

"Yes," she assured him, "if you are."

So Doug put Kate down and picked up the phone again as Carol watched, and dialed a number from memory. His face lit up even before he began speaking. "Liz'Beth, how are you?"

"Hey, Doug, where are you?"

"Chicago. How was the honeymoon?"

"It was perfect. How's the baby?"

"Oh, Tess is fine. It was just a stomach virus, she's all better. So, married life is good?" he kidded her.

"Married life is very good. You ought to try it," she retorted.

"As a matter of fact, that's why I'm calling. Carol and I are getting married next weekend, and I need a best man."

"Yeah?" she asked, confused.

"Well, Beth," he began, his voice softly caught in his throat, "you're my best man. If you and Alan can make it, I'd like you to stand up for me." He waited through the silence that met his request.

"Doug. Oh, god," was all she could say.

"Hey, I understand if you can't..." he began.

"No. NO, I can. I can, and I'd love to, and I will." He could see her smile in his mind.

"Thanks, Beth. I'll be in Atlanta, and then back here. I need you to grab a couple things from my house." So, Doug made arrangements for Beth to bring a suit and the rings, to check on the mail, and to make sure things were sound at home. When he finished, he hung up and looked at Carol. "You're pretty great, you know that?"

"Yeah," she replied, grinning. "I know that."

*****

Helen came again that afternoon just in time to watch the girls so Doug could get things done and Carol could go to the hospital to invite her friends. They decided that Carol would take the rental car to the hospital and Doug would stay home to pack, and then leave for the airport before dinner.

As Carol entered the hospital, she recognized how strange it felt, being there. Only a few weeks had passed since she quit work, but it seemed as though she'd been gone longer. Conni saw her immediately and waved as she escorted a patient into an exam room. "Whatcha doin' here, girl?" Conni asked, smiling.

"Come see me in the lounge when you're finished. I have some news."

"Be back in a bit."

Carol walked up to the admit desk and was greeted by Randi. "Hey, Carol. How's life?"

"Life is good."

Randi winked and raised one eyebrow suggestively. "How's Dr. Ross?"

Laughing, Carol answered, "Doug's fine, thanks. Where's Mark?"

"I don't know. You'll have to ask somebody," Randi threw out, turning her back to anything that remotely felt like work.

Carol thought to herself that nothing had really changed in her absence. She looked over at the board and mentally read the names of the doctors who were working. Weaver, Greene, Chen...Kovac. The name seared her eyes and her heart stopped dead for a moment. She'd considered seeing Mark, talking to the nurses, but Luka had slipped her mind.

She heard Mark before she saw him, and called his name quietly, gesturing toward the lounge and hoping for some privacy.

He walked in right behind her and gave her a bear hug and a loud, vocal greeting. "Come to get your old job back? I'll give you a good reference."

Carol giggled and caught her breath, reeling from his hug. "Not a chance. But, I do need you for something."

Mark poured a cup of coffee for each of them and sat opposite her, listening.

"My house sold. Last weekend," she began.

"Wow. That was fast. Congratulations."

"Thanks. I'm going to have everything packed up and I'll be moving out to Seattle in a week and a half."

Mark swallowed hard. "You guys are leaving so soon?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Doug's been taking a lot of time off work and he's been working from home a lot, but he needs to be back in his office. We didn't want to be apart. The girls need him," she added.

"The girls need him, huh?" Mark asked, smirking.

Carol smiled in return. "I need him."

"Well, that all sounds great. You need any help moving, packing stuff up?"

"No," she assured him, "no, but I do need something. The reason I came by is that I have something to tell you."

"You're pregnant again?" he blurted out.

Carol's laugh came from deep within her. "No! I'm definitely *not* pregnant!"

"That was boorish of me, wasn't it?" Mark asked.

"It certainly was. Anyway...Doug and I are getting married. Next weekend, in Michigan."

"Whoa...whoa!" Mark exclaimed loudly, encasing her within another bear hug. "I can't believe it. I mean, I can, but I'm just...surprised. So," he ventured on, grinning, "he needs a best man, does he?"

Carol's face fell, imperceptibly, and she pulled back ever so slightly. "Um...not exactly. We talked about it, Mark, and...."

The moment was shattered by the swing of the lounge door, and by the tall, dark figure that entered, searching for a caffeine jump-start. Carol and Mark looked up, and when Luka realized who was in the room, his face took on a guarded expression. "Hey, Mark. Carol," he said once he recovered. "Any coffee left?"

"Yeah, yeah," Mark replied, looking to smooth the situation by pouring coffee for Luka.

"Hi, Luka," Carol offered weakly. "How's everything going?"

"Things are good. They're fine. How are the girls?"

"They're good, thanks. Just getting used to flying, that sort of thing," she replied, trying to ignore the tension in her chest.

Mark handed the cup to Luka. "I'll be right back. Just have to check on persistent back pain in three." Once Mark left, Carol found herself wishing Luka would leave, too, but he didn't. He pulled up a chair and sat as he breathed in the aroma from his cup, wishing all the questions he had in his heart could be asked and answered. Carol sat across from him, drinking her coffee as well, waiting for the right moment to speak, cursing silently when it never came.

"How are you...really?" she finally asked.

"Surviving," he replied, pursing his lips. "I miss Tess and Kate. The...there aren't any children around where I live and I...I miss them."

Feeling awkward and not knowing what to say, Carol looked away, but Luka continued to talk.

"I saw him, you know. Did he tell you?"

She nodded.

"He was a good guy, different than I expected," Luka revealed with a slight shrug and a shy grin. "I wanted him to be some uncaring...unkind man...."

"Luka, don't..." Carol implored.

"No, no. Let me...." His voice broke, but he continued. "I wanted to be part of your life. To be their father, to be the man you loved. I wanted that, and I was angry with him, and with you, when you left. I wanted to hate him for leaving you, and for coming back." He was quiet, collecting his thoughts. "But I saw him, he was on the ladder and he was fixing your roof, the...the...." Luka struggled for the word, and she finally provided it.

"Shingles."

"Yes, the shingles. He was fixing them, and then he came down off that ladder and when he heard his baby girl crying he went in to get her so fast. He came back, and she was there, with her father. She looked happy. Like she was where she belonged. This man, this man I wanted to be heartless, was holding Kate and I saw how she was him -- a part of him, and she was never part of me. Neither was Tess. Or you."

"Luka...I'm so sorry. If I'd known how it would end up with me and Doug, I...."

He waved her off. "How would you know? How can any of us know what the future will bring? We can't."

"I should have told you, though. Told you more about our past, about how confused I was. It's just...it's never easy for me to open up to people," she divulged.

"Eh. I knew there was a man. There you were, pregnant, and so...sad. You were sad until the day they were born. Every time I was at your house, I knew there was another man. I never saw him, you never really talked about him, but he was there. I only hoped that you could let me in. So I would stop hurting. So I would start living."

His words, guileless and raw, cut through her. "I'm sorry. I appreciated you. I valued your friendship, your care, and your kindness. I never meant to do anything to hurt you."

"You didn't, really. I was already hurt, huh?" He smiled the smile of a condemned man, with no joy behind his eyes. Just a resignation of fate. "When are you moving?"

"My house is sold and I'm leaving as soon as I can get everything packed up."

"You're here to say goodbye?"

"That, and to invite people to our wedding."

Luka drew a breath and lifted his eyes to her. "Getting married so soon?"

"Soon?" She shook her head, denying his assessment. "Not soon enough."

"When?"

"Next Saturday."

Luka took his last gulp of coffee and stood up. "I'll tell Mark not to worry. About taking time off, I mean. I'll work his shift."

"Unless...Luka, would you like to come?"

"No," he answered quickly. "I don't belong there."

She looked away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even...."

"No, no," he answered quickly. "It was nice of you." Luka put his cup on the counter and walked toward the door. "Congratulations. For your whole family." He left as quickly as he came.

Just as she was recovering, Mark reentered the lounge. "Bet that was fun."

Carol rolled her eyes. "Mark, please!"

"Sorry. So...you were about to tell me that I'm being stiffed by Doug?"

"No," she insisted. "That's not it. I'm here to ask you to be the best man. My best man."

"Wha...what are you talking about?"

"I need a witness and Doug and I talked. Mark, you've been the best friend in the world to me, and there were times when I felt all alone. But you never left me, you always helped me. You were there when Kate was born, you and Elizabeth brought me that Christmas tree. What I'm saying is, I'd be honored if you'd be *my* best man."

Mark was touched, and looked away, moved by her words. "Carol, I'd be honored to be your best man. Just tell me where and when." He held his arms out to her and she hugged him as they both held back tears.

"I need to ask the others. I'll call you with the time and place and everything. Thanks, Mark," she said sincerely. Carol walked out and gathered her friends to her: Haleh, Conni, Lydia, Yosh, and Malik all shouted their excitement and Haleh grabbed the nursing schedule to make certain they could all attend and promised to call Lily and Chuny. Carol glanced at her watch and realized she needed to leave; Doug needed the car to go to the airport, so she said her goodbyes and ran out just as Kerry walked past the admit desk.

"What's going on?" she asked. "Why was Carol here?"

"Just making wedding plans," Mark said as he breezed by her.

"Wedding?" She whipped around to see him. "When?"

"Next weekend," Malik said as he reached for a chart.

Kerry stood still. "She's getting married next weekend?"

"Yeah, isn't it exciting?" Conni added.

"Yes, it is," Kerry replied quietly. "It's very exciting. Uh...I've got a dinner meeting with Romano and then I'm going home. Goodnight." She walked away from the animated chatter.

*****

Exhausted after her difficult day, Kerry parked her car and gathered her briefcase and purse from the back seat. Things had become increasingly difficult for her these past few weeks. First, the whole mess with Carter had distressed and drained her. Romano offered no help, and didn't seem too concerned about her undermanned staff. Now, trying to cover shifts with one less resident had become challenging. She depended upon Carter, not only for working his shifts, but also for supervision and for his willingness to pitch in and do what needed to be done. To make matters worse, with Carol resigning so abruptly, the nursing department had yet to replace her and there had been problems getting shifts covered, difficulty with inventory, and a general lack of cooperation from the nursing staff. Kerry hadn't realized until recently how much Carol smoothed over, and how she depended upon her and on Carter.

She closed the car door, setting the alarm, and walked wearily toward her home. Looking up, she gasped at the sight of a man waiting near her front door.

"I didn't mean to scare you," the man said calmly, grinning and stepping aside, giving her room to maneuver.

"Doug." Kerry was at once relieved and unsettled, seeing him there. "Wha--what are you doing here?"

"And a hearty 'hello' to you, too, Dr. Weaver," he teased.

"I'm sorry. I'm just...I wasn't expecting...I'm surprised to see you. How are you?" she finally blurted out.

"Good, I'm good."

"Are things working out for you in...Seattle, right?"

"Yeah, things are fine. At least they haven't fired me yet," he chuckled, knowing she'd appreciate the humor.

Even Kerry had to smile at his self-deprecation. "I'm glad you've found a good place. Your children are beautiful. Congratulations."

"Thanks. Thanks. I, uh...."

"And," she interrupted him, "I hear you and Carol are getting married next weekend. I'm so happy for you. For both of you." Kerry looked down and then up again, warmly. "For all of you. Your whole family."

"Thanks, Kerry." It became quiet as they regarded each other. There was no pretense of apology, no sentiment of forgiveness or understanding. They were just two people, their orbits colliding for perhaps the last time, paying silent homage to their unique history. "Uh, that's why I came here," Doug explained. "I'm...I'm on my way to the airport, but I stopped here to see if you...to ask if you'd come, if you'd like to come. To our wedding."

Dumbstruck, Kerry could only stare at him, allowing her purse and briefcase to sink lower on her person.

"You don't...I mean, I don't want to put you on the spot. If you didn't want to come, I'd...that's okay...." He shook his head, feeling humiliated for some unknown reason.

"No," she said, rescuing him from his embarrassment. "I'd...I'd be honored to attend."

"It's...you know, it's not going to be here. We're getting married in Michigan, in Benton Harbor. It'll be late Saturday afternoon. Just casual, you know, on the beach. Uh, we can e-mail everything to you, directions and hotels and...stuff like that."

"That would be fine."

Doug nodded and took a step away. "Okay, great. Thanks, Kerry. I'll see you."

He began walking toward the street, and as her eyes followed him, she recognized that she never once understood him, and that she never would.

"Good night, Dr. Ross," she called out.

He turned to her, searching her face briefly. He started to talk, stopped, and then let out a deep breath. "You took care of Carol. Took care of my Tess. I wasn't here to thank you then, uh, but I want to thank you now."

"You're welcome," she answered sincerely. They exchanged one more smile before he walked away. Kerry watched him go, then let herself in. Locking the door behind her, she dropped her belongings at the door and wondered: How was it that she had done everything right and he'd done everything wrong, yet he was blessed with such happiness while she remained alone?

*****

With Doug gone, Carol scarcely had time to think. She called several hotels in Michigan and successfully booked rooms for those who needed them, and then went out shopping with the girls so she could find new dresses for them, and one for herself. Her mother had asked if she was going to wear a "real" wedding dress, but Carol shook her head. "I don't need it. There's nothing I need other than Doug," she insisted. "He won't care what I'm wearing." But Carol's actions belied her words because she searched long and hard for something pretty, and finally found what she was looking for: A calf-length ivory dress, with a tight-fitting bodice and a slightly flared skirt. "What do you think, girls?" she asked as she modeled it for her daughters. "Think Daddy will like it?" Kate leaned forward in the stroller and pulled Tess' hair, and Carol scrambled to pull them apart. "Never mind, I'm sorry I asked!"

The rest of the week flew by. Doug called every night, sounding particularly lonely the night before he was due to fly back. "I'll be happy when you guys are home with me," he said quietly.

"Yeah, me too, but you travel so much we'll still be apart," Carol replied, pulling the covers around herself.

"I know. I have to see...we'll talk about it, maybe it's time for me to change jobs."

"We'll talk about it," she agreed.

"How are my girls?"

Carol yawned before replying. "Fine. In bed, and I'm there myself."

Doug smiled into the phone. "Okay sweetheart, sounds like it is time for bed there. I'll see you tomorrow night."

"And then we're off to Michigan," she chimed in.

"I can't wait," he said, and bid her goodnight.

After she hung up, she reached over and pulled his pillow to her in the darkness.

*****

Doug returned to Chicago very late Thursday night. In fact, Carol didn't even hear him come in and barely stirred when he kissed her shoulder.

"What time is it?" she asked, her voice husky with sleep.

"Almost midnight. Go back to sleep." She did, but not before snuggling against him.

The next morning, a flurry of activity surrounded the entire household. Doug did laundry early on, and searched through the package that had arrived from Seattle. Inside, he found the suit, shirt, and tie that he'd asked for, and a wrapped present that contained a pair of boxer shorts, covered in hearts. He roared with laughter when he opened it, and after reading her note:

"Dear Doug,

I couldn't think of anything to buy you for your wedding, but got these for Carol's eventual enjoyment. Love, Beth."

He smiled again when he found the carefully packed rings. "Well, I have underwear and rings," he said to himself. "God bless you, Beth."

By noon Friday, they were packed and ready to go to Michigan. "I can't believe we did all this so fast," said Carol. "We'll even miss the worst of the traffic."

"I hope our little friends sleep during the ride," he added, gesturing to the babies.

"Hope and pray," she agreed.

And as they'd hoped, the trip was fast and uneventful. After they secured a marriage license, they checked into their hotel room, set up the port-a-cribs, and went downstairs with the girls to the lobby for an early dinner. Just as they got settled, they heard a voice call to them from the hotel bar.

"Hey, why aren't you celebrating at the bar with us?" Mark called out to them as he and Elizabeth walked to their table.

"'Cause Tess and Kate are too young to drink! What are you guys doin' here tonight?" Doug asked, standing to greet them, shaking Mark's hand and accepting a strong hug from him. He kissed Elizabeth on the cheek.

"We decided to come this afternoon," Elizabeth explained. "We wanted a good seat for tomorrow, you know," she joked. "Haven't the girls grown since you left!"

"They have. It's that Seattle air," Carol said, smiling. "They love it there."

"When are you moving?"

"Monday," Doug answered. "Do you guys wanna have dinner with us?"

"Absolutely!" Elizabeth said, and they found a larger table.

They talked about everything, realizing it was the first time they'd been together as two couples. Carol looked around the table and realized how much she would miss Elizabeth and Mark. If there were any bad feelings about Mark not being Doug's best man, it wasn't apparent. They ate and laughed and drank and took turns holding the babies until it was time for them to go to sleep.

"I thought the bride and groom weren't supposed to see each other before the ceremony," Mark commented, as Doug and Carol got ready to go upstairs.

"Well, we're not all that conventional," Doug replied as he held Tess in his arms. "Carol is heading out to the house in the morning with the girls and meeting her mother there, and I'll show up later."

"Have a restful night," Elizabeth said, "and let us know if you need anything in the morning."

*****

It was a sparkling, warm Saturday. The babies woke up cheerfully, and Doug and Carol bathed and fed them in the hotel room, and packed up her things so she could get ready at the beach house.

"You sure your mother can find it?" he asked as they hauled everything to the car. "I can run her over there."

"Are you kidding? Her granddaughters will be there. She could find the place in a snowstorm to be with them," Carol teased as she got Kate settled in her seat and put her purse in the car.

They drove in silence, each of them anticipating the afternoon. As they drove up to the house, she put her hand on his arm.

"You nervous?" she asked.

"No, not really. I mean, I just hope everyone gets here, that they have fun. That it goes well."

"I know. Me, too."

Eloise was waiting on the porch and greeted them warmly. After Doug got her settled, and kissed the babies goodbye, he drove away, wondering how he would fill his afternoon. But when he got back to the hotel, he met his mother and Howard in the lobby, and Beth and Alan happened by as they were talking. After making introductions all around, they decided to meet back in the lobby in 30 minutes for lunch. He was quiet after ordering his meal, listening to Alan and Beth talking about their honeymoon, and hearing about his mother's terrible flight east. Before he knew it, it was time for him to shower and get ready.

He walked his mother and Howard up to their room, helping them with their bags, and as he was about to leave, his mother held him back.

"Doug? Are you okay?"

"Sure, sure, I'm fine, why?" he asked, smiling.

"You were quiet. I just want to make sure."

"I just want to get on with it," he disclosed.

Sarah put her hands on her son's face. "I'm proud of you; proud of the man you've become, of the father you are, and of the husband you'll be. You take care of her, now. You're making a promise to her, and you be sure you keep it."

He looked back at his mother solemnly. "I will, Mom. She's the best part of my life." He kissed and hugged her and walked away, toward his room.

*****

There was much excitement and happiness within the little cottage on the lake. Carol got the girls down for their naps and then showered, put her hair up, and worked on her make-up for almost an hour. Her mother arrived and looked beautiful in a cool, sleeveless dress. After Carol slid her dress over her head, her mother zipped up the back and embraced her from behind.

"You look so beautiful, Carol. Your father would have loved to see you this day."

"Thank you, Mama. I'm so happy! I can't believe this is happening. Sometimes I feel like I need to pinch myself, to make it seem real."

"Are you sure?" her mother asked her unsteadily.

Carol faced her confidently. "I've never been as sure of anything in my life."

"Then God bless you," her mother said as tears overtook her.

"Oh, Mama...I love you!"

"Don't let me cry on you, I'll ruin your dress," her mother said huskily.

"If you don't, Tess or Kate will," Carol laughed.

*****

Doug arrived at the house and was greeted outside by a throng of former co-workers. Everyone had a handshake, a hug, or a slap on the back for him. He acknowledged everyone, but kept his eyes glued to the door, waiting for a glimpse of Carol. After what seemed like an eternity, Helen appeared at the door with the babies. Doug smiled, and strode toward them, ready to take them from Helen's arms, but she held onto them.

"They just nursed; what if they spit up on you? Better to make a mess on your mother and me," she insisted sternly.

"Yes, ma'am," he acquiesced. "Can I kiss them, at least?"

Helen smiled warmly. "Yes, a kiss, but no more. Carol will be out in a few minutes."

Doug gave each of his girls a kiss just in time, because he was almost bowled over by his mother, who swept past him and nearly grabbed the babies from their other grandmother.

"Oh, my sweet girls!" she exclaimed.

Helen smiled and handed Tess to her, and held Kate close enough for Sarah to kiss. "You must be Doug's mother. After so many years, we meet!"

Doug, suddenly feeling overwhelmed, shook the cobwebs out of his head and introduced them. "Uh, yeah, uh, Mom? This is Helen Hathaway. Helen, my mother, Sarah Knowles. This is her husband, uh, Raym...." He stopped in his tracks and looked at his mother, amazed. "Uh, um, Howard. I'm sorry...this is her husband, Howard Knowles."

Sarah stared at Doug. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he insisted.

"Pleased to meet you," Howard said, shaking Helen's hand.

Sarah faced Carol's mother as well. "Helen, it's so nice to meet you. Of course, we love your daughter, and we're so happy about their marriage."

"It's nice to meet you, too," Helen said, smiling.

"Here, Howard, take Tess a minute, won't you? I want a word with Doug."

Howard took his granddaughter, and Sarah guided Doug away from the crowd, so they could have a private moment.

"Doug -- what is it?"

He shook her off. "I'm -- nothing, I'm fine."

His mother raised her chin firmly. "It's me, Doug. What's going on?"

"I'm scared," he blurted out, looking at his mother helplessly, raking his hands nervously through his hair. "I just...this afternoon, I was just thinking of Dad. What if...what if I screw up? I mean, what if I fail them...Tess and Kate...if I do something to hurt them, or I do something wrong? What if I fail Carol, or I'm not a good husband?" His heart was pounding.

Sarah looked with compassion at her son. "Sweetheart, you're not going to fail them. You're not your father."

He shook his head and looked down on the ground. "I love her. I mean, I know I'm in love with her and I want to marry her, but I'm so afraid I won't do this right."

"But how can you fail? If you love her, you can't fail. Not if you work hard every day to succeed."

"I just want to do this right," he said softly.

She lifted his face to hers. "Then you will," she said, kissing his cheek.

"Doug, Sarah! She's ready!" Helen called.

Doug smiled at his mother. "I love you, Mom."

"Go get ready for your bride," she answered and they walked together across the lawn.

There was no music and no fanfare. Doug waited on the grass with Beth and Mark at his side, and the small number of guests sat at tables, waiting expectantly. When she emerged from the house and made her way down the wooden steps, she smiled at him brilliantly and he was awed by the joy in her face. Carol's dress fit perfectly, and her hair was swept up, away from her face. She wore her mother's pearls around her neck and a pair of pearl earrings Doug bought as a wedding present to her. Carol walked across the lawn, toward him, and when he could wait no longer, he strode to meet her, his hand stretched out to her. As he leaned over to kiss her cheek, he whispered, "You look beautiful."

They walked hand-in-hand to the justice of the peace.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of this man, Doug Ross, and this woman, Carol Hathaway...."

Even as he spoke, Carol could not take her eyes off Doug. He was, she thought, more handsome than he'd ever been. His charcoal-colored suit was beautifully cut and his crisp shirt gleamed white against his tanned skin. The flecks of gray in his hair only made him more beautiful to her. Doug felt her gaze and gave a quick wink.

"Doug, Carol -- you may now speak your vows to each other."

He turned to face her and waited a moment. This afternoon, there was no rush. In fact, he wanted to savor the moment, wanted to make this time, this day, something they would always remember. So, before she spoke, he squeezed her hand and walked away from her, toward Helen. He extended his arms and Helen smiled and gave Tess to him. Doug kissed his oldest daughter's soft, wet lips, provoking a happy shriek from her as her legs wriggled excitedly. He brought Tess to Carol's arms and went back then to his mother, who handed Kate over to him. Kate reached up to pull Doug's hair and he laughed and ducked away. She frowned, but he kissed her as well and faced Carol again.

"Let's do this together. As a family," he suggested.

"Okay," she agreed quietly.

Doug took her free hand in his, smiling down at her, feeling a peace he had never known in all his life. He waited as she composed herself. Carol took a deep breath and looked at him, the old apprehension gone from her eyes, finally, and the trust so blatantly apparent.

"I, Carol, take you, Doug, to be my beloved husband. You are the man I want to share my life and my dreams with. I promise to love you forever and cherish you in my heart. I will honor you, I will belong to you, as you'll belong to me, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse. I will forsake all others, faithfully keeping myself only for you, and I will love you with all my heart for so long as we both shall live."

His eyes were filled with her and his heart was bursting. He knew she was waiting for him to speak, and he hoped that he'd remember what he'd rehearsed. Doug took a deep breath and leaned into her, his forehead just touching hers, as he whispered confidentially before he spoke his vows.

"I've waited years for you, Carol. I've wanted you from the first minute, from the first time I saw you. You fascinate me and delight me. I am...honored that you would marry me. I'll try every day to make you happy."

Carol smiled up at him. Tess looked at her mother, then back at her father and mirrored their smiles, then yelled out, "Dada!" as she swatted at his cheek. Their family and friends laughed, and Doug, so touched at hearing this for the first time from Tess, seeing the happiness in Carol's face, ducked his head as he struggled to maintain his composure. He remained steadfast, however, determined for her to hear his words clearly as he stood tall again and spoke so all those present could hear his vows to her.

"I, Douglas, take you, Carol, to be my wife. I promise to love you from the depths of my soul. I promise to honor you as my equal in marriage. I promise to cherish you more each day. I will belong to you, totally, completely, as I want you to belong to me. Through good days and bad, through health and sickness, through rich and poor times, I will never abandon you. I will be faithful to you, relinquishing all others, loving you alone. Today, when you give me your heart, I promise to regard it gently, care for it tenderly, and love you all the days of our lives."

Carol gazed back at him, love and contentment radiating from her face. "Thank you," she whispered, "for loving me like this."

He smiled back and they turned to the judge.

"You may now exchange your rings."

Doug turned to Beth, who handed him the small, platinum band. When he faced Carol again, they both barely suppressed a giggle as they juggled the babies in an attempt to free their hands. He finally took her hand in his. "With this ring I pledge my love and fidelity to you." The ring slipped on smoothly.

Carol reached over to Mark for Doug's ring. "I never thought I'd see the day," she whispered, and they giggled softly again. "With this ring I pledge my love and fidelity to you," she said aloud, putting it on his finger.

Doug looked down at his hand and wriggled it a little. "Looks good," he said, chuckling quietly.

The justice of the peace announced, "As you have spoken your vows and exchanged these rings, by the power vested in me by the State of Michigan, and Berrien County, I pronounce you husband and wife. I present to your friends, families, and witnesses, Dr. Douglas and Mrs. Carol Ross. You may kiss your bride."

Doug put his free arm around Carol and pulled her to him in a gentle kiss, and they laughed quietly, holding the girls close to them, as their family and friends applauded, whooped and hollered their approval. "So...Carol Ross?" he asked her.

She regarded the question seriously. "I...I don't know. I mean, I never thought about it."

"Well," he chuckled, "for today, at least, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed, teasing him. "For today."

*****

In keeping with their relaxed manner, what followed was more a barbecue than a wedding reception. The rented tables were nestled into the grass, covered in blue checked cloths. The afternoon was warm and pleasant, the lake was sparkling, and the music from Carol's CD player was just loud enough to enjoy. Everyone wanted a turn congratulating and talking to them, and Doug and Carol were surrounded by so many well-wishers that it took them a good hour to find time to begin the task of feeding and entertaining their guests. She handed the twins off to their grandmothers again and helped Kerry, Haleh and Lydia open the containers of food while Doug manned the grill.

"This is great," Beth said to Doug warmly after she'd enjoyed a slow dance with Alan. "Just like a wedding should be."

"Well, I don't know about that," Doug answered as he flipped burgers and rolled hot dogs over the flames. "But it suits me. This is all Carol's work. Hey, Beth, look," he added wickedly, and pulled the waistband of his slacks away from his body, revealing the very top of his boxers, complete with hearts.

"You didn't!" she yelled, smacking him softly on the arm.

"I did. You know, something old, something new...."

"I don't believe you...that's for the bride!" she hissed.

"Wait'll Carol sees," he added, raising his eyebrows for emphasis. "Bet I'll get lucky tonight." Beth's laughter attracted attention, and Doug saw his new mother-in-law tug on Carol's arm and point to them.

"I think you're lucky now," Beth said seriously. "Carol is a wonderful woman. I'm so happy that you're finally happy."

Doug looked down at her and pulled her close to him in a hug. "If it weren't for you, I'd never have survived last year."

"Me, too." She hugged him in return and held the plate while he placed the meat onto the buns.

Carol sauntered over to them, smiling. "Beth, make sure he doesn't make you work too hard."

"It's too late. I think I've become the waitress," Beth complained, pretending she was put out as she placed the food on the buffet table. "The honeymoon is most definitely over."

Carol patted Doug's arm to get his attention. "My mom is on the prowl, be careful," she warned him.

"What'd I do now?" he asked warily.

"It's not you, it's me. She's going to try to convince you to let Kate and Tess sleep at her hotel instead of with us."

"Why?" Doug asked, but never got an answer because Helen was upon them quickly.

"Doug, I was trying to explain to Carol, but of course she doesn't listen -- the girls can stay with me, at the hotel," Helen said. "After all, it's your wedding night!"

Carol continued her protest. "No, Ma, I have to nurse them, and they'll be mad if they wake up and I'm not there."

"For one night, they'll live," her mother insisted. "After all, you should be alone tonight."

Doug, unwilling to allow the discussion to escalate, intervened gently. "Helen? We appreciate it, we really do. But the girls belong with us. They'll stay with us tonight at the house. It's what Carol wants." He smiled and put his arm around Carol, guiding her away.

"This marriage thing just might work out," she whispered. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he whispered in return.

*****

The food was plentiful, as were the drinks, and soon enough everyone was eating and dancing and enjoying the warm afternoon. At one point, Mark tapped his plastic glass and got everyone's attention.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and Doug," he began, drawing laughter all around, "I want to propose a toast. To Doug and Carol: May the love that surrounds you today grow and may your marriage bring you happiness and contentment; may your children outnumber the seats in your minivan; and may you still feel, when you're old and gray, the passion for each other that we see on your faces today. Congratulations."

Doug raised his glass to his friend and turned to his bride, kissing her deeply, taking her by surprise and triggering catcalls from the men present.

"I, too, have a toast," Beth chimed in, and everyone gave her their attention. "To Carol and Doug: Love each other, laugh with each other, play with each other every day. Never forget how precious the gifts of love and commitment are. Cherish one another and you will always be as happy as you are today."

Everyone applauded again, and Doug and Carol thanked her.

"Aren't you guys supposed to dance?" Lydia called out.

"I'll save my dancing for later on tonight, if you don't mind," Doug quipped.

"No, no!" Malik yelled. "You need to dance!"

Doug laughed, and took Carol into his arms. "What are we dancing to?" he asked softly.

"I have no idea," she answered. "Oh, God! Listen!"

He grinned. "Santana?" And sure enough, Malik had fussed with the CD player and the signature drum and guitar sounds of "Smooth" poured out of the speakers. "They want a dance, we'll give them a dance," Doug maintained, and he held Carol tightly to his body and twirled her suggestively, his shoulders moving seductively to the music, his hips firmly pressed against hers as the music surrounded them.

"Man it's a hot one  
Like seven inches from the midday sun  
I hear you whisper and the words melt everyone  
But you stay so cool  
My Muñequita, my Spanish Harlem Mona Lisa  
You're my reason for reason  
The step in my groove...."

Doug sang softly, so only Carol could hear him, his eyes dark magnets, drawing hers into them:

"And if you said... this life ain't good enough  
I would give...my world to lift you up  
I could change my life to better suit your mood  
Cause you're so smooth....  
"And it's just like the ocean under the moon  
Well that's the same as the emotion that I get from you  
You got the kind of lovin' that could be so smooth  
Give me your heart  
Make it real  
Or else forget about it...."

Carol put her arms around his neck and held his head to hers as she kissed him ardently, her hips swaying with his. Again, their guests clapped and hollered and spurred them on.

"Well I'll tell you one thing  
If you would leave it'd be a crying shame  
In every breath and every word  
I hear your name calling me out  
Out from the barrio, you hear my rhythm on your radio  
You feel the turning of the world so soft and slow  
Turning you round and round...."

And he spun her gently, round and round, as the sun was just setting.

*****

The tables were stacked, the trash gathered and removed, and the beach and lawn were restored to their previously pristine condition. They'd said their goodbyes -- most of their friends and family were staying at nearby motels and were determined to continue the party elsewhere. Kate and Tess were exhausted and nursed only briefly before falling off to sleep. Carol tucked them into port-a-cribs in the small dining area off the kitchen, then went outside to join Doug. He'd long since shucked his shirt and tie, and was sitting comfortably in his t-shirt and slacks with bare feet resting atop the porch railing.

"Here," she said, offering a beer and a kiss on the top of his head. "I thought you might like one more cold one before the ice all melted in the chest."

"Yup," he replied, taking it from her and twisting the top off. "Hey, what's that you're wearing?" he asked, eyeing her bare legs.

"Your shirt," she replied.

"I can see that...how come?"

"It'll give you something to take off later," she replied slyly. Carol settled in to the chair next to him and sighed. "I'm beat."

"Me too." He smiled in her direction. "You did a great job. Everything turned out great."

"Thanks. I think it did. Everyone had a good time. I enjoyed myself. It was nice of you to invite Weaver."

"Well, it's not like I have to ever see her again," Doug said, accepting her thanks gruffly. Changing the subject, he remarked, "Your mom looked happy."

"Yeah, well...as happy as she could be without me having a church wedding."

"She's a trooper." He looked out over the dark lake. "It seems like it was a lifetime ago that we were here last."

"I was just here last year, and it still seems so long ago, you're right."

"We should make sure we take the girls here when they're older. I mean, we have our lake, but I want them to see Lake Michigan, too. To get to know it like we do."

Our lake. Carol smiled, enjoying the tacit expression of "we." She held her hand out to him and trailed it along his forearm, touching briefly. "That'd be nice. I remember thinking about that, last year. How I wanted to take them here. When we come out to see my mom, maybe."

"Helen...she's gonna have a hard time bein' without them."

"She is. But she can come visit us," Carol reminded him.

"She can. But it's not the same as having them there, close to you. My mom's already bugging me, asking me when she can see them again."

"They're very loved. That's the best thing. They have so many people in their lives who love them."

Doug nodded, agreeing. They sat in silence then, watching the bats swoop down to feast, away from the shore, gazing out at a fishing boat, its lights shining as it floated calmly on the dark lake. Off to the left of them, far down the beach, someone had lit a bonfire and the distant sound of music reached them. The song made her feel melancholy.

"All those nights alone," she said sadly.

"Hmm?"

"All those nights when we were apart and I was alone -- I thought about you every night. I closed my eyes and I could feel your arms around me every night. Doug, I don't want to be alone again, ever. I need you. I love you."

He looked over to her and she met his warm gaze. Placing his bottle down, he reached again for her hand. "Come upstairs," he whispered.

He led her inside, up the narrow, creaking steps, into the tiny bedroom they'd shared two years previously. The windows were open, imparting a cool breeze and a lovely fragrance. A large vase, filled with flowers, had been placed on the dresser and as Carol looked around, she thought she couldn't have dreamed of a better honeymoon suite.

She turned to undress him and burst out laughing as she unzipped his trousers.

Doug pulled away slightly to look at her. "Well...I envisioned a lot of things on my wedding night, but uncontrollable laughter wasn't one of them...."

"What are you wearing?"

He looked down and laughed as well. "I forgot. Wedding present from Beth. She thought I might need these to entice you into bed," he explained with a crooked smile.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh," she said, trying to keep a straight face. "Everything about you is enticing," Carol growled as she kissed his neck.

He put his hands on her face and became serious again. "Carol?"

"Hmm?" she asked, moving even closer to him.

"Did I tell you that you looked beautiful today?" he asked as he drew a gentle finger across her lips.

"Yeah," she answered, kissing his cheek. "You did."

"And did I tell you that I've been wanting to come upstairs, here, with you since I put that ring on your finger?"

"No, you didn't tell me that." She allowed him to pull her onto the bed.

"It's true," he said quietly as his fingers began working on the buttons of her borrowed shirt. "You see, I've never made love to a married woman."

She stifled a giggle and kissed him again. "Will wonders never cease?"

"It is a wonder, isn't it? Us, finally here?"

"It is," she concurred.

The heat of his body, the softness of hers, drew them together and they stroked and fondled each other slowly, savoring the feeling, the togetherness. He covered her, finally, his arms tight at her side, his hands pushing her arms above her head so he could kiss her neck, her breasts. And finally, as she implored and moaned and parted her thighs, as his excitement grew, he gently pushed his hips forward and slipped into the sweet, warm wetness of her.

They made love tenderly and felt a bond, stronger, more real, more lasting than anything either had ever experienced. The faces of men who had once loved her, the lips that had grazed her soft skin, that had sought her arousal, faded away. Bodies that had lain atop her, seeking to love what had never belonged to them, shrank back in reverie. Eyes that had gazed into hers, never seeing their reflection in the deep brown-green pools, always cursing the man she loved, were averted. The arms of the women who had tried to seize him, hands that had clutched at him, never holding on tightly enough, never soothing him, flailed and grasped at nothingness. Legs that had wrapped themselves around his taut body, seeking to be she whom he loved, knowing they would never be, walked into the shadows. She cleaved to him, and he to her, and as his voice filled her ears and her sighs filled his heart, the ghosts of lovers past were swept away, out into the night by the very moonbeams that sanctified their marriage bed, flung far into the depths of the lake where they were drowned.

He awoke later to her mouth and her hands, her hair trailing along his chest and finally, his stomach, and he made love to her again, breaking the silence of the night. Afterward she was lulled back to sleep by the quiet sound of his breathing. He stirred once again when it was still dark, but found his bed empty. Pushing the sheet aside, he descended the stairs and walked toward the cribs, watching with love as his wife tucked blankets under chins and lay a gentle hand on their slumbering daughters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Heaven knows  
I'm head over heels and it shows  
I've played every field I suppose  
But there's something about you  
When you're around, baby I have found  
I get lost in a wonderful daze  
Lost in your wonderful ways  
Heaven knows  
Oh when you're around, baby I have found I get lost  
Heaven knows,  
I'm head over heels and it shows  
I've played every field I suppose  
But there's something about you  
When you're around, baby I have found  
I get lost in you  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


End file.
